Holly’s Story

Holly & Ash

At age 14 i was diagnosed with a severe mullerian anomaly with a unicornuate uterus and severe endometriosis. The endometriosis drowned my fallopian tubes and one ovary. What i was left with was half a uterus, one ovary that was not connected, one kidney and no cervix. At 14 years old this was devastating. At 18 I met Ash (23), he was beautifiul, kind and supportive. Like any normal couple our age we had a normal lifestyle, normal paying jobs and a house loan but there was just one thing missing, a child. 6 operations later the news I received was heart breaking ” I’m so sorry Holly, there is nothing more we can do” Surrogacy was our only option. I spent months resaeaching how to go about it and what to do. My gorgeous mum was the first person to offer, it was like a dream come true. Sadly Mum was diagnosed with hormone related cancer and was no longer able to carry our baby. Six months later a wonderful woman offered to carry my baby. The words estatic and overjoyed don’t even come close to what we were feeling! However those feeling didn’t last long when we were told that medicare wouldn’t cover us for IVF. We are looking at around $15,000 – $20,000. As a normal young couple this just seemed out of reach. Medicare cover everyone else for IVF but will not cover us. Not only do we have $15-20,000 for IVF but we also have another $20,000 + for other surrogacy involved costs. It is my understanding that when Medicare made this decision surrogacy was illegal, now that surrogace IS legal here in Australia the outdated laws need to change. So over all i feel discriminated against and think this is greatly unfair. Please change the law so that us and couples like us can be blessed with a family

One for the Country

We may not represent a large % of the population, but we represent the very segment of the population that Medicare should be most likely to assist.

We pay our Medicare Levies. We work, we pay taxes. We long to fulfill the ‘Great Australian Family Dream’ as outlined in 2004 by then treasurer Peter Costello who famously encouraged parents to have three children: “one for the husband, one for the wife and one for the country”. The dream of a family it seems, is one that is entrenched in every aspect of life.

We are everyday women, with everyday dreams. The idea of the nuclear family is the ‘norm’ in Australia. So some of us long to have our nuclear family. We may have one child, but we’d like to provide our child with a sibling. Yet, we have been robbed of fulfilling our dreams by medical circumstances.

Others of us here on this page don’t have any children at all. The yearning for a child is a strong and primal desire – and it’s not one that can be dismissed lightly.The quote ‘Never give up on something you think about every day’ is one that comes to mind.

Whatever our situation, there is one thing we all have in common – surrogacy is the only means by which we can have children. So why should we be forgotten by Medicare?

There will never be a large % of the population that access surrogacy. So the money we are talking about in terms of Medicare rebates would not become a major financial burden on the system any more than the current IVF rebates are. It just doesn’t make sense on any level that women who are at a medical disadvantage are given less support from the Medicare system than their more fertile sisters.

Surrogacy relies on IVF to operate. So not giving Medicare rebates for IVF on surrogacy  – to the group of women that absolutely and unequivocally need it – seems to go against the grain of what Medicare is set up to do. That is – to make healthcare equitable and accessible to all.

This week, I’ve heard too many sad conversations from our group of women, who are sinking their life savings into one single IVF cycle in the hope it works. The sadness knowing that if this rarified IVF cycle doesn’t work and their surrogate doesn’t get pregnant the curtains fall down on the stage of family dreams.

Given the opportunity to make a few attempts this need not be so. IVF is not an exact science, the hands of creation are still meticulous and exacting. It’s quite normal for a fertility specialist to say that the first attempt is quite literally ‘the test’ to see how you perform on the drugs. The subsequent cycle will be tweaked, refined. Like any good experiment.

When each cycle costs 18,000 or thereabouts, it’s a very bitter pill to swallow. Large numbers sound so abstract, but no matter your current wage you know how hard it is to save that money, only to find you can but afford one cycle. The test. The ultimate test of your finances, and also your ability to handle stress.

If we could change Costello’s mantra to 3 IVF cycles, I’d be happy. One for the father, one for the mother, and one for the Country.

Monica’s Story

In early 2010 my husband and I decided we’d start trying for a family, we had been discussing it for a while. We had lived in the UK for 5 years and thought it was time go home, buy a house and start nesting for a potential baby. Fast forward a bit and It was late October and I was really frustrated that I wasn’t getting pregnant, wondering what I was doing wrong.

Monica & her husband

I started realizing that in back in July I had found a lump and totally ignored it, life had its heavy demands, but I proceeded to perform self-examination and there it was, I went to the GP got a full body examination and asked what he thought about the lump? He said don’t worry, if it’s still here in 4 months come back. Not happy with his opinion I went to a breast specialist, “Supposedly” the best in Vic. He read the mammogram and told me that my breasts were normal for a 26 year old and not to stress about the lump as it might just be a cyst. My mother and I weren’t convinced, as in 2006 I had a cyst removed from my breast and this one just didn’t feel the same. 3rd opinion here I come…

I saw another breast specialist; they call him “The Godfather”. I knew when I sat in his office that it wasn’t going to be a great day! He diagnosed me with hormone sensitive Breast Cancer, it’s basically to say that the cancer was stimulated by estrogen. OMG! I’m only 26, we are meant to be getting pregnant, I don’t want to be sick, I don’t want to die yet!

1 week later I was booked into have a partial mastectomy… followed by 4 rounds of chemo, 6 weeks of daily radiotherapy sessions, 1 year of Herceptin that was given intravenously and 5 years of Tamoxifen. My life had been turned upside down, my dreams were crushed and my heart is broken… My Oncologist told me that there is no way I can carry a pregnancy as that there was a extremely high chance that Tamoxifen would deform my baby and potentially harm myself if I got pregnant as it would raise my estrogen levels and therefore raise the risk of recurrence.

Our now surrogate offered to carry our baby, who I believe is an angel sent from above. Not everyone does this!
I feel hurt and angered at the fact that it’s not my fault I got sick and I can’t have a child the normal way, I don’t see why I should continue being punished financially and emotionally. To have one round of IVF it cost us $20,000 and by the time we finish we would have spent $50,000-$60,000. My husband and I are just humble average Australian tax payers. He works fulltime and then some and I work and study when possible. We would like a fair go and not have to feel like we are constantly being discriminated by the law because I was sick. We have never received any assistance despite always paying our taxes, I am appalled!

Like any couple going through the journey of IVF, all they want is a child, but the reality is that they receive a Medicare rebate helping them with the cost of IVF. We are requesting that you put yourself in our shoes and please give us the same rebate as any other couple, we are not asking for anything extra – just to be treated the same.

The Complicated Surrogacy Process – step by step

Given we have so many supporters not familiar with surrogacy, we thought it might be worth while writing a post about the process. Surrogacy is a complicated process and an expensive one at that. So we thought you should know what we go through in order to have our babies.

Before I start here are some common surrogacy terms explained:

· Intending Parents (IPs): Couples looking for a surrogate or who have a surrogate
· Intending Mother (IM): The mother looking for a surrogate or who has a surrogate
· Intending Father (IF): The father looking for a surrogate or who has a surrogate
· Gestational Surrogate (GS): A surrogate who has no biological link to the baby she carries. Either the IPs sperm and eggs are used to make the embryo, donor eggs and sperm or a combination of both.
· Traditional Surrogate (TS): The surrogate uses her own egg but the Ifs sperm or donor sperm.

For surrogacy to be legal in australia it must be altruistic, meaning the surrogate must not be paid for carrying the baby except for her reasonable expenses.

Given this, the biggest hurdle for a couple requiring a surrogate is to find one! It is illegal for a couple to advertise for a surrogate and it is illegal for a surrogate to advertise their services. This makes it very difficult for IPs to find surrogates. A lot of surrogates are IPs sisters, female friends, even their mothers. But for IPs, like us, who don’t have this option, they have to rely on the kindness of strangers.

So how do you find a surrogate? Well thank god for the modern technology, the internet! There are several websites designed for IPs looking for a surrogate and surrogates looking for IPs to meet up. IPs and surrogates need to be careful what they write though as remember its illegal to advertise or make comments designed to encourage surrogates to come forward.
So many IPs post their stories and wait and hope that privately a surrogate will contact them. And that’s basically it. So as you can imagine this is a very difficult process and can take months, even years.

The law states that a surrogate must be over 25 years of age and have had at least one child – although it does say there may be exceptions – whatever they may be.

The law also says a couple must have a medical reason for requiring a surrogate. So contrary to popular belief, surrogacy is not used because the woman is too busy to be pregnant or too vain.

The law also requires IPs and the surrogate and the surrogate’s partner to attend counselling. The counsellor is required to ensure both couples fully understand the process and the issues that may arise during the process. The counsellor must then write a report saying they are comfortable that both couples understand the process.

Both couples are then required to obtain legal advice. This legal advice must include any issues that may arise out of the process. It also ensures both couples understand that the surrogate and the surrogates partner are legally the baby’s parents. This means that it is completely up to the surrogate to give up the child to the IPs. Basically if the surrogate decides to keep the child there is not a lot the IPs can do except to start a legal case.

But on the other hand, there is also the possibility that the IPs can change their mind and decide not to take the child. So the legal advice covers all this sort of stuff – ensures everyone knows of what could go wrong.

Once the legal advice is obtained an agreement must be drawn up between the couples. The law does not state what must be in this agreement – which is a strange thing. The only thing the law does say is that the agreement is not enforceable. Weird right? What’s the point of it then? Well who knows really? But I guess it is a good opportunity for both couples to put down in writing what they expect from the process.

Probably the main thing that’s in most agreements is what costs the IPs will cover. Whilst it is illegal for the IPs to pay the surrogate, the law states that the IPs must pay all reasonable expenses incurred by the surrogate. So reasonable expenses might include – legal and counselling fees, medical fees, parking, petrol, life insurance, death insurance, health insurance, maternity clothes, drugs, loss of wages, required child care etc etc. Basically anything the surrogate might have to pay for to get pregnant or whilst pregnant or recovering from giving birth the IPs must pay for. But what is deemed reasonable to one surrogate and IPs might be different to others.

Once all this is taken care of the IVF process starts. The IVF process is the same as any other IVF process, they take the IMs eggs (or donor eggs), take the IFs sperm (or donor sperm), put the two together and then hopefully create some embryos. One (or two in some cases) embryo is then transferred to the surrogate who will hopefully get pregnant. As you are aware Medicare does not assist in any of the costs related to the IVF process.

Of course the IVF process could take one go or it could take multiple times.

Once the surrogate is pregnant Medicare and the health funds come to the party. A surrogate is considered as any other pregnant woman. Basically it is not recognised as a surrogacy. Given this the surrogate has full control over the pregnancy and makes all decisions relating to the prenatal care. Generally though the surrogate and IPs work together on the process.
Once the surrogate has the baby, the surrogate will hopefully hand over the baby to the IPs. The IPs then must wait 28 days but no more than 6 months to apply for a parentage order. This basically changes the legal parents from the surrogate and her partner to the IPs. The birth certificate is changed to reflect this change. Both parties must consent to the parentage orders.

Prior to the parentage orders being granted, both couples must attend more counselling. The counsellor must ensure that both parties are ok with the process and the granting of the parentage orders are in the best interest of the child. And yep another report needs to be drawn up.

And that’s the end of the process! As you can see it is a long and stressful process for all involved.

Of course I have only just touched on the mechanics of it. Between all the steps a lot of bonding occurs between the surrogate, her partner and the IPs. I have not attempted to touch on the emotional part of it.

Anyway I hope this explains the process for everyone. Please feel free to ask me questions and for those experienced in the process, if I have missed anything let me know and I will update.

Sign our Petition for Change to Medicare Laws

Our petition for the House of Representatives is now complete. We would love for your support in obtaining signatures. Everyone can assist.

Given this is a formal document; a strict procedure needs to be followed for us to be able to submit it to the House of Representatives. For example it is very important that each page is original.

Download the document by clicking on the below link in blue:

Petition for change of Medicare Law

Once you have filled your page or pages with signatures, please return it to us. This must be done via mail or dropped off in person as each original page must be submitted to parliament.

Return to:
Melissa Delaware
69 James Josey Avenue
Springfield Lakes QLD 4300

If you have any questions about the petition or what it is we are actually asking for, please do not hesitate to contact us or comment below and we will answer your questions.

Your support is invaluable and these changes are not possible without your support.

Thank you so much

Janelle’s Story

In 2008 my husband and I experienced the heartache of miscarriage. My doctor told me that it was most likely due to fibroids and that I needed to consider surgery. We tried to fall pregnant again over the next 12 months without success. As it was, I didn’t know how I would handle a second miscarriage anyway so in 2009 I had the surgery to remove the fibroids but there were too many. My doctor told me he stopped counting after 100 and then had to stop removing them altogether as it would risk the viability of my uterus. Even after the surgery, there were still so many tiny fibroids that the walls of my uterus looked like rice bubbles. Since 2009 we have undergone more treatment to shrink the fibroids and six IVF cycles. Along the way, we have been able to create some beautiful little embyros but the bottom line is that I just don’t have a good enough uterus to keep them in.

After our last IVF cycle, my husband and I sat down and discussed our options. We considered stopping altogether and not having a family, but neither of us were willing to go that way. And so the other option was surrogacy. We weighed up the financial cost and what it is going to mean for us. At the end of the day we decided that the chance of having a beautiful baby in our arms was worth it and we couldn’t give up before we had tried everything. But the financial impact of surrogacy will affect us for the rest of our lives. It will mean that I will have to go back to work a lot sooner after the birth than I otherwise would want to. It means we won’t be able to afford to buy a home in the next few years. It means our baby won’t have everything we would like to give them, but they will have a loving, dedicated mother and father who want that child in their lives more than anything else in the world.

I am so blessed that surrogacy is an option for us and that we have a wonderful surrogate who I cannot thank enough. But it’s not an easy option. I’ve grieved the loss of not being able to carry a baby myself and we have had to make some serious financial decisions. But by removing the discrimination in the Medicare Legislation, my husband and I will be able to start our long hoped for family, like so many other Australians, without the additional crushing expense. It won’t lessen the emotional impact of not being able to carry your own child but it will mean that the child is born into a family not burdened with added debt, over and above the usual cost of bring a new life into the world.

Tracy’s Story

Our story is a little different than most involved in this process in that we are lucky enough to have 3 amazing sons from my previous marriage.

I was advised 5 years ago that due to medical reasons it was best if I had a hysterectomy. It was a very upsetting time full of confusion, disappointment and feelings of failure. I thought I would no longer be a real woman but held tight to the knowledge that I had my 3 beautiful boys and my life was full and my family complete, or so I thought.

I always wondered if I would meet another man that I would love and have a life and future with. I worried that if not being able to have children would be an issue and how could any man love me regardless. As such I decided not to look, that it would be best not to put myself through disappointment and heartache again, that I could be happy being on my own and I was luckier than some so be grateful for what I had.

So going along in my own little world one day I happen to run into a guy at my friends place. She introduced us for about 5 minutes and that was that. He could not stop texting our friend to organise a BBQ that night so he could see me, she did and we have been together ever since.

Tracy and her partner

This man turned my world upside down, the love and affection in his big heart, the care and compassion he has for everyone is amazing. We talked about children and I had told him the first night about my situation, he had always wanted children and thought he could live without them as long as we were together. After seeing him with his nieces and god daughters my heart started to break as I told myself how could I do this to such a beautiful soul, how could I ask him to give up his dream of a child when I was so fortunate to have been though the experience of 3 beautiful babies. More than anything I wanted to share this beautiful experience with this man that loved me so much, this man that I had given my heart to and could never image living without. I wanted a baby with this man and I wanted to make our family complete.

One night at our friends she raised the issue of children, when I told her my situation she burst out saying well I’ll carry it. We were stunned, what and how could this be done. She continued to tell us that she had donated eggs to her cousin for IVF the year before and pulled out a book all about it. My partner and I said we would talk about and it was something we could look at later on. Our friend kept raising the possibility with each of us together and singly, we would casually discuss this at night whilst cuddle up and thought this could be a possibility as it would allow us to forfill our dream of completing our family.

I raised it with our older boys who light up with excitement and of course suggested a little sister would be a good idea. One afternoon on the train on my way home from work my partner called me, he is a long haul driver in the transport industry and calls me numerous times a day just to say hello and he misses me. He was away on a trip and called to see how my day was, I advised him that our friend had raised the issue about a baby the other day and he responded with ‘well what do you think’? Being a true female I said ‘well what do you think’? His reply floored me, he said ‘I think we should just go for it’ I asked if this meant he wanted me to start looking into the whole surrogacy think and he said ‘yes’. We were going to have a baby, or at least give it everything we had to make it happen. I was so excited and jubilant I almost squealed with joy but then remembered I was in the quite carriage and did a little wiggle instead.

Well I started to look into the whole surrogacy thing, the first thing I found was OMG there is not much out there that is useful and everything contradicts itself, the legislation and law is one thing but what and how this occurs is another. Then I stumbled across Hub Bub and that was it, I found so much information and so many wonderful people who really care and want to help. I am not alone, there are others out there and I found them.

I soon had a lot of info and started looking into clinics to try and get a price which is when I was advised that it is approx. $15,000-$18,000 and 100% out of pocket as Medicare does not rebate AT ALL. I then started looking into the legal side and costs and was advised that it is approx. $15,000-$18,000 and is NOT legally enforceable and that after all the stress, heartache and expense the GS could still say she is keeping the baby and there is nothing the law or us can do about it.

Well we are very lucky that our GC is a very close friend who has always and will always be in our lives and we will have no issue with the hand over. We do have issues with the costs of everything.

Due to my age 44 and turning 45 this year and the excessive costs of everything, this is it for us. We will only have one chance and that is more upsetting than anything. Medicare and this government have made it impossible for us (as is with many others I am sure) to go through this process again in the current situation.

General IVF Costs vs Surrogacy IVF Costs

Where ART is required to create embryos, provided a surrogate is not used, Medicare financially assists families by providing rebates. This is regardless as to whether the couples own sperm and eggs are used, they use donor sperm and eggs or a combination of both. Provided a surrogate is not used to carry the embryo Medicare will provide a rebate. These rebates are paid in accordance with the Medicare Benefits Schedule (MBS) and are not means tested.

Below is a table showing the average out of pocket expenses, couples can expect to pay when they do not use a surrogate:

IVF Australia, IVF Treatment Costs, http://ivf.com.au/ivf-fees/ivf-costs (February 2013)

Medicare does not provide a rebate for hospital related services, such as egg collection and embryo transfer. However Medicare may provide a rebate for the anaesthetist and those with private health may be eligible for a rebate from their fund. Out of pocket expenses for hospital related services range from $1,000 to $2,400 depending on whether the couple has private health cover.

With the assistance of Medicare, couples can expect to pay a total of $3500 to $5000 per full cycle.

There is no limit to how many cycles a couple may undertake during a year. In fact, the more cycles a couple does each year, the more Medicare will pay. When couples reach their annual threshold, the Extended Medicare Safety Net (EMSN) provides an additional rebate. Given it is usually necessary for a woman to have 3-5 IVF cycles before a successful pregnancy occurs , this can result in Medicare contributing $7,500 to $13,500.

Where a surrogate is used, Medicare does not provide any rebate for the IVF cycle. This is regardless of whether the couple use their own eggs and sperm to create the embryos or where donor eggs and sperm are used. Couples using a surrogate to carry their embryo can expect to pay between $16,000 – $18,000 for a single IVF cycle. In addition to these expenses couples using surrogates have legal costs, counselling costs and the usual pregnancy costs. Couples can expect to spend up to $60,000, provided their surrogate gets pregnant within the first or subsequent IVF cycle.

Why is it ok for the Government to help women with fertility issues but who can still carry their babies but not help women who cannot carry their own babies? There is no extra costs or extra procedures involved when a surrogate is used. The IVF procedure is exactly the same, except the embryo goes into another woman not the same woman.

For me personally I have never used IVF. I had no fertility issues. I had cancer, hysterectomy thats it. Can no longer carry my baby. I have just completed my first round of IVF. So far it has cost me almost $17,000. I only got 2 embryos. One embryo is currently, hopefully, growing in my surrogate. The other embryo is on ice. So I only got 2 shots. We cannot afford another $17,000. This is it for us.

If I had my own uterus. So far I would be out of pocket about $4000. The pressure would not be as great for one of these two embryos to become a baby, because we could have another go. We could afford another $4000. In fact 3 rounds of IVF with Medicare rebates would be less than what I have paid so far for 1 round.

Just seems so unfair to me. Why should I be treated differently to so many of my friends who have done IVF. Why should I not get a shot of having the family I always dreamed of?

These laws need to change. Equal access to Medicare Rebates to all those doing IVF!

51 Letters sent to Australian Politicians and other Community Groups

Thanks to our group who is campaigning to change the unfair Medicare laws, we have managed to send 51 letters to politicians and other community groups in a few days. Well done everyone!

But this is not enough!! If we want to be heard its going to take a lot more than 51 letters. I urge you all send letters to your politicians. We have made it easy for you, we have included template letters and contact details for many politicians.

Here is a link where you can see who has sent what letters and the responses we have received so far. Letters sent and Response to date

Laurie’s Story

In every family there is “the sporty one”, “the funny one”, “the pretty one” and my has all of these but I am not one of them, in my family I was always known as “the sick one”. Born with a hole in my heart I developed complications as a young adult and as a result spent a significant amount of my life in hospitals, that was until I received a life saving heart-double lung transplant at the age of 24 in July 2002. Since then I haven’t looked back, I went back to uni, met and married the love of my life and work for a living.

This is Laurie with her husband

There is however, one thing that is missing from our lives that my husband and I so dearly would love and that is a child. Although it may be physically possible for me to carry a child, i.e. I still have all the “bits”, the risks to my health and the health of the baby are extremely high, e.g. kidney failure, rejection of my organs, miscarriage, even death. So my husband and I have made the very hard decision that for me to carry a child is just too risky.

Now I am an extremely healthy woman, I have been for over ten years and plan on being for many, many more. And I believe that my husband and I deserve the right to have a family as much as any other couple. I am not a wealthy socialite who doesn’t want to destroy her figure or someone who is too busy to carry her own child. I was heartbroken when I was told by the doctors how risky it was for me to carry my own child as I wanted nothing more than to do just this.

So for my husband and I surrogacy is our only option. However Medicare and its outdated views on funding towards surrogacy is holding us back because we don’t have thousands and thousands of dollars sitting in the bank just waiting to pay an IVF doctor. We have a mortgage which we work hard to pay, I am not on a pension, we are just your average Aussie couple.

Why should a woman who has problems falling pregnant but can carry a baby get a Medicare rebate and only be out of pocket a few thousand dollars while I can’t carry a baby because it puts extreme risk on my health, surrogacy is legal, and yet I get no rebate. Without a rebate from Medicare IVF costs can be upwards of $15 000, and this is just IVF, this doesn’t include other costs involved with surrogacy. Medicare needs to change its views on funding towards surrogacy as it is discrimination plain and simple and it must be stopped!